Holding On and Letting Go: Gentle Ways to Face Christmas After a Loss and Grief
- Bruce Missen
- Dec 7, 2025
- 2 min read
The holiday season can be especially challenging when grieving the loss of a loved one. Balancing the desire to honour cherished memories with the need to care for one’s emotional wellbeing requires a compassionate and flexible approach. Every individual’s grief journey is unique, and there is no prescribed way to experience the festive season following bereavement.
Understanding and Acknowledging Emotions and Grief
It is common to experience a complex mix of emotions during the Christmas period, including guilt for moments of joy or frustration with social expectations to be cheerful. Recognising these feelings as normal responses to loss is an important step toward emotional acceptance and self-compassion.
Granting yourself permission to experience varied emotions, such as gratitude, sorrow, and fatigue, without judgment supports healing by embracing the reality of grief rather than suppressing it.
Upholding Meaningful Traditions and Creating New Ones
Continuing certain traditions or adapting them to current needs can provide comfort. This may include dedicating a place at the table, lighting a remembrance candle, or displaying ornaments that honour the deceased. Engaging family members, including children, in remembering their loved one can reinforce a sense of connection and shared support.
Where traditional activities become too distressing, consider modifying or replacing them with simpler, less demanding rituals that still foster remembrance without becoming overwhelming.
Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Care
It is both appropriate and beneficial to set limits on social engagements and holiday activities, particularly when they prove emotionally taxing. Establishing a personalised plan for Christmas Day, including designated breaks or quiet spaces, can alleviate anxiety and support emotional regulation.
Prioritising regular nourishment, rest, and limiting exposure to potentially distressing stimuli such as social media and alcohol are practical strategies to mitigate emotional exhaustion.
Communicating Needs and Supporting Others
Open, clear communication with family and friends about your needs and boundaries can facilitate a supportive environment. Most people wish to provide comfort but may require guidance on how best to do so.
When supporting children or adolescents, inviting their participation in remembrance activities allows them to express their grief constructively and feel acknowledged.
Recognising When Further Support is Needed
If grief becomes overwhelming or significantly impairs day-to-day functioning during the holidays, seeking assistance from grief counsellors, healthcare professionals, or support organisations is advised. Professional help is a critical resource for navigating complex emotions and fostering resilience.
Practical Strategies for Coping with Grief at Christmas
Light a candle or set a place at the table to symbolically honour your loved one.
Share stories or play songs that evoke positive memories.
Grant yourself permission to decline invitations or reduce holiday commitments.
Schedule moments of rest or solitude during social events.
Limit engagement with social media or emotionally triggering content.
Reach out actively for support from trusted individuals or professionals.
For additional assistance, please consider connecting with our team, which is available to offer compassionate guidance tailored to your unique circumstances. Further resources and support options are accessible via www.willowtreefunerals.com.au or on 02 8776 1667
Remember, the goal is not to “get through” Christmas perfectly, but to approach it with kindness, flexibility, and respect for your journey of grief.
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