Navigating the Questions That Arise through grief

Losing someone close to us is one of life’s most profound challenges. The absence of a loved one can leave us feeling as though a part of our world has shifted forever. As we move through the grieving process, it’s natural for questions—both big and small—to surface along the way of grief.

These questions often fall into two main categories: the “whys” and the “how’s.”

·       Why did this have to happen?

·       Why couldn’t I prevent it?

·       Why would a higher power allow this pain?

·       How do I start to heal?

·       How would my loved one want me to move forward?

·       How can I find hope again?

If you’re wrestling with thoughts like these, know that you’re not alone.

Questioning is a normal part of grief. Everyone’s journey is unique, and the questions you ask may differ from those of others. However, there are several common concerns that many people experience after a loss.

1. Will I Ever Feel “Normal” Again After Losing Someone Important?

The pain of losing a spouse, child, sibling, or friend can feel overwhelming. Rather than trying to “get over” the loss, it’s more helpful to think about learning to live alongside it. Grief isn’t a problem to solve, but an experience to adapt to. Over time, you may find new ways to honour your loved one while moving forward with your life.

2. Why Do I Feel So Isolated, Even Around Others?

Grief can be a lonely road, even when you’re surrounded by people who care. You might find that even in support groups, your emotions feel misunderstood. This is completely normal. Everyone processes loss differently, and your feelings are valid. Sharing your thoughts with someone you trust, or writing them down, can sometimes ease the sense of isolation.

3. Why Are Some Friends Pulling Away Instead of Supporting Me?

It’s common to notice changes in your friendships after a loss. Some people may not know how to offer support, or they might feel uncomfortable facing grief themselves. If you sense distance from friends, consider reaching out to them directly. Honest conversations can sometimes bridge the gap. However, it’s also important to accept that not everyone will be able to provide the support you need, and that’s okay.

4. Why Am I Still Struggling Months or Years Later?

Grief doesn’t follow a set timeline. Unlike physical injuries, emotional healing can take months or even years, and progress isn’t always linear. Be gentle with yourself as you move through this process. Celebrate small moments of joy or peace as they come. Remember that healing happens gradually.

Grieving is a deeply personal experience. There’s no right or wrong way to feel or to heal. If you find yourself struggling, consider reaching out to a counsellor or support group. You’re not alone, and support is available whenever you need it.